Imprisoned
by Lady Dragonnaine
Summary: [RC, CN, side ShyxShy] Sometimes nightmares aren't just bad dreams, but a twisted reality. Cesia POV. Rating for sex, swearing, fantasies, mild gore, mild incest, and angst. Citrus het, future yuriyaoi
1. Once Upon a Time

Disclaimer: If I owned Dragon Knights, the bookies would come out faster.

Warnings: Rating for sex, swearing, strong emotions, violence, mild gore and angst. Het, future yuri, possible yaoi. Some instances of DAM (Dark and Morbid), but I'm still working on this, so lets give it time.

Dedication: To all the wonderful, wonderful, incredibly special people who reviewed (or will review) my first Dragon Knights Rath/Cesia story, "Here Without You". No, I'm not dead, and I haven't forgotten you guys! Thanks for your caring and support!

Summary: A first person story of Cesia, inside look at her character, good and bad. Multiple Cesia pairings. Dark, but not extremely. Switching personalities between Cesia and Dark Cesia (dominance battle).

Pairings: Cesia/Rath, some Cesia/Nadil. Side Shy action.

:Chapter One:

I was raised by a witch. She was an awful haggard woman, wrinkled and horrible with a stinging tongue and an even sharper walking stick. She wore a shapeless sheet of black, rough material draped carelessly over her body, her eyes dark and hidden above a hooked, protruding nose. I hated her for what she did to me, her foul temper when angry, but she did teach me. She taught me many things, things I never would have learned if it weren't for her minute caring.

But what I didn't know then was that it was all training. Training for the day Nadil would call for me. And that day came all too soon. There was a mounting fear and mild torment starting in the depths of my soul then, past the point of consciousness. I didn't know it, but it was the implantation and growth of a demon. A demon that would one day grow strong enough to overpower me, drive me over the edge of sanity, and then return me from it, with no memory of what I had done. That was before I lived in fear, before I learned to cope, before I realized that it was just another part of me.

A self-concealed demon is a breeder of darkness, of insanity, and ultimately, of reckless self-abandon. It is a horror to experience, a devastating, memory erasing terror. It feeds on feelings, devouring joy, and releasing pain, causing an effect that both numbs your soul as well as causes intense inner turmoil. It's a sickening, writhing ache that never dulls and never wavers.

That's what Dark Cesia does. She manifests the worst, creating someone that really isn't me, but wears my expressions, my voice, my _skin_. She's a vicious, ambitious bitch; and yet...she's still a part of me. A facet--a _flaw_--in my personality. To live when you are demon is frightening. You can feel it's voice echo in your mind, over and over, but you can't make it stop. Can't take away, or drown out the sound of its endless drone. She whispers spite and hatred into my mind, spreading it like a dripping toxin, the poisonous words resounding in my head. The Dragon Lord gave me the Dragon Amulet to seal her away. And while I wear it, she can't get out. Can't get out, can't wreak the havoc I know she desires to do. Can't hurt anyone but me.

But hey, life goes on, doesn't it?

My world was spinning out of control. Everything I knew as stable and reliable was failing, fading. Dark Cesia had overpowered me, forced me to pour Revival Water over Rath, laughing when it splashed over Kai-stern's exposed arm. Kai-stern returned me to the castle, the Dragon Amulet once again bound to my throat. But Rath was gone. I wonder if Rath knows how much I worry about him, how much I want to protect him from himself. I have learned that Rath is embarrassed by the fact that he feels weak, that sometimes he needs to be needed, to be loved. But he feels that no one understands him, and that hurts me. I understand him more than he thinks. After all, I live with a demon constantly eating at my soul, just as he does. But I can only know to a certain extent. I cannot be Rath; I can only watch him from afar, hold him when he needs to be held, and love him in secret.

Do tell me what you think! I love all kinds of feedback. Hope everyone's summers going well, and please support this poor authoress! All my friends are off vacationing, so I thought I'd take my chances with this story. Please review!


	2. About a Boy, About a Girl

Dedication, chapter 2:   
  
Very much thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter;  
  
Stary Angel1, Mad Hatter (much thanks), Hentaikoneko, Insaneoveranime, Lisasa, Cesia Illuser, Ginsing1, Darkangelkitty08, saya1sein1YDP, nice person, and especially Jared/Tofu!  
  
Shout-out to Brotee, for reviewing my "Here Without You" story. Hope you'll review this too!  
  
:::  
  
This chapter is about twice as long as I usually make them, but I couldn't find I good place to break it, and I am going to Kona for a week, (6/30-7/6), so I thought I'd give you a nice long chapter in consolation.  
  
Constructive criticism is respected; I'm always open to any suggestions of improvement.  
  
Here we go, getting into book 11 now, I know I said we'd start at 11, but I kind of began with a bit of 10, instead... oops. Anyway, here we go, 11/12, with the Rath/Cesia that I know you all want.   
  
Nice, very long R/C chapter for you all! Enjoy!!!!!  
  
:::  
  
Then there was that moment, that rush of confusion and hope, when I looked over the balcony, lost in my own thoughts and the company of that little orange dragon, his ruby wings tucked behind him. At first I was too na•ve to hear his words, trapped in my own questions and curiosity. But his voice was strong enough to burn through the pages of my need to know, and the notes ran strong and clear when he pulled me into his embrace. I'd forgotten how much taller he was than I, his arms pulling me closer to him. I could feel his heartbeat, the endless pulse of his body against mine. He was hurting; something was slowly dissolving his will to live, again. I thought he'd been rid of that foul desire, but something within him was flaring up, sparking an inflammation of self-hate and worthlessness in his heart. I wanted to tell him, to help him to realize that there were other things to live for. Other people. Thatz, Rune, Kai-stern.   
  
Me.  
  
"Rath..." I began, unsure of how to fit my findings into words. He took a deep breath, softly nuzzling my hair, and whispered, "I shouldn't have come back here."  
  
But I was glad he did, secretly glad that his arms were around me, warming the chill in my soul.  
  
Then he was gone, and so I returned to my bedchambers, drowning in bewildered hope. The room I had spent much of my time at the castle in was empty as usual, a large crimson-covered bed in one side, and a polished vanity on the other. There was a huge, charmed mirror, an easy way of communicating to others in the castle, without leaving the confines of your room. I had used it to speak with Zoma many times before, as a sort of alternative to the tiny, handheld mirror we once spoke through. My footsteps sounded muffled against the tapestry carpet beneath my feet. I glanced into the empty mirror, seeing my confused reflection dance in the magical swirls of mist that shrouded the glass. My own image stared back at me, her features occasionally blurred with fog, but then she smiled. It wasn't a normal smile, not like the ones I use with Zoma, or the other people in the castle. It was a hissing, spitting smile, full of anger and hatred and despair. I fell away from the glass, struggling to get away from it before she took over. Before Dark Cesia could escape again. She was getting stronger. Now on the floor, I groped at the thick rich fabric of the rug, pulling myself farther from her. The wine-colored carpet stretched before me, cloaking much of the spacious room with a deep velvety color. I felt protected there, grounded and safe, somehow. Then I noticed it. The dragon amulet lay but a few inches from me; so deep in color it appeared to be black. How it had gotten there I wasn't sure. With my fingers shaking slightly, I pulled the pendant to my chest, not feeling fully stable until I had wound the long strands into a tight knot around my throat. But even then, I did not chance a look into the mirror. I did not want to risk my sanity, my memory, and even my life, at the hands of the powerful demon that I could truly call my own.  
  
And then things began to get out of control. With the castle under attack, there was no longer any time for deep thinking, just action, and my thoughts became blurs. Only short bursts of memory are left with me, although I pretend as though my memory is still pristine, still flawless and endlessly accurate. There is no point in worrying the Dragon Tribe; they already have too much to worry about. But...why is it I can only remember the moments that don't seem to matter? Crying on the stairs, and falling into deep crimson pools, drowning in the fire they contained.   
  
But then what we had all been dreading happened. We had wished, hoped, prayed that Rath would be able to defeat the monster within him. But we were wrong. And I cannot blame him, because he was trying to fight against Nadil, the strongest demon one could imagine. And because...because you do not blame the one you love.  
  
Nadil returned, devouring the life force that was once Rath's. He swallowed Rath's soul, and I hate him for it. But we found a way to resurrect the fallen, a way to bring him back. We did what we had to do, nothing more. And we lost one of our own in the process. We lost Kai-stern; we exchanged his life for the heir's.  
  
And then I waited, silently watching the heir to the Dragon Lord, and waiting for sleep to betray him, so that he would be forced to awaken.  
  
When he did at last, he was confused and bewildered, torn with frustration. It was all understandable, of course, after what he'd been forced to endure. His hand went to his throat, and then followed the path of the silken cord, ending in a red-black jewel.  
  
"That's your Dragon Amulet, Rath," I said, trying to keep my voice level and tone gentle. It was harder than I thought. "Zoma picked it up when Nadil discarded it." shock and fear were etched all over his face, a mingled, questioning look that threatened to overpower me. "I'm glad you're back." I murmured, lost in his beautiful, penetrating eyes. "I've missed you."   
  
His hand was still clasped tightly over his Dragon Amulet, and I could tell my words had done little to ease the confusion he was currently plagued with. But at the sound of my softer words, he flushed. And I was momentarily frightened; afraid I had said more than I should have. It's happened before, you know. I sometimes blurt out my feelings without fully thinking them through. Something about Rath causes my composure to go haywire, and I don't know what to say. Except when we're arguing. Then my words fly like stinging arrows, which causes regret. Sometimes.   
  
"I don't believe it!" he said, one hand now covering his face, in either an attempt to cover his blushing cheeks, or, as is more likely, to mask the shock that was clearly presented in his quavering voice.   
  
I was more than a little surprised at his actions, and the way his voice shook with emotion, so I could utter little more than a mutter of confusion. "Huh?"  
  
"You brought me back to life?!"  
  
That sentence was something I had prepared an answer for. I looked at him, albeit a bit incredulously, and said "I had no other choice, Rath. With you gone, who was I supposed to make fun of?" Who was I supposed to protect? Who was I supposed to care for? "And I seem to recall a promise I made about never letting you die." I paused, and, to fuel his need for answers, I continued, "Well, technically you did die. But I brought you back!" the second part came flooding out of my mouth, as if in proof that I had kept my promise, although it hurt me to know that I hadn't. "You still remember everything, don't you? Maybe I messed up with the incantation." I whispered these; gentle prodding to know of his secret feelings.   
  
"Of course...I remember." he said, still looking groggy and trying desperately to retain all the information I was giving him. But he seemed to be registering, and I leaned over him, bringing my face close to his. I had to see his answer in his eyes. "You do? Then what's wrong?"   
  
"I also remember killing Alfeegi." He said softly, his voice floating in the sudden stillness that followed his words. I was surprised he was bringing this up. Didn't he realize?  
  
"That wasn't you. That was Nadil."  
  
Abruptly, he switched gears and began on a different note. "I was brought back to life? This isn't normal. Now I'm even more of a freak then before!"  
  
What on earth was he babbling about? Sure, it was unusual, but the Dragon Tribe isn't exactly normal, are they? His voice called out to me like a frightened child, although his tone was strong. But underneath those steely words of conviction, lay a shivering little boy, wanting nothing more than a little love and comfort.   
  
"Calm down! You don't need to act like this!"  
  
"How should I act?" he retorted, his voice rising sharply, and cutting into my heart with an angry shove.  
  
"Do you realize what I've just been through? Can you be MORE insensitive?!" he shrieked, emotion riddling holes into his weak defenses.  
  
"Insensitive?!" I cried out, hurt at his tortured words "Of course I realize! I'm the one who did it!" I shot back at him, finally breaking down the barrier his anger had thrown towards me.   
  
His voice quieted, and his fingers closed around the thin blankets that covered him. "I can't do this. I'm not like you, Cesia."  
  
My anger instantly dissipated. My gaze once again fell upon his in a gentle caress, sadness carved into my eyes by the pain in his heart.   
  
"I just don't... How can I face the rest of them after what's happened?" he asked me, his voice no more than a quavering whisper, like the rustling of leaves in an autumn wind. "I can't do it. I can't act like nothing's happened. I can't pretend I didn't kill Alfeegi, or unleash Varawoo."  
  
"Don't worry," I murmured, my voice sounding far less soothing than I wished for it to be. "It'll be all right." It had to be all right. We were both silent for a moment, but I was no longer able to fall into his eyes, no longer able to bathe in their crimson pools. I allowed him to fall back against his pillows, finally subdued enough to relax once again.  
  
"So Crewger is dead." He commented at last.   
  
Our conversation continued with new fervor, with Rath's need to know and understand driving him to speak more openly than he would have, ordinarily. But how could I blame him, after what he'd been forced to do? It was as if, by speaking, he was slowly trying to heal himself, from all the pain he'd caused. It wasn't working well enough though, for he still wanted death. Death so that he wouldn't feel anymore, because simply being alive was too painful to him. But he kept talking; kept trying to heal what we both knew could not be healed. But then his words created realization in his own mind, and he angrily turned to me, his eyes burning simultaneously with rage and prayer.   
  
"Nadil drained my life force and took my body. But I am here now. Life cannot be restored without the death of another. Who has died in my place, Cesia?"   
  
How was I expected to break this to him? How was I supposed to tell him that Kai-stern, his mentor and eternal guardian had been the one to lose his life?   
  
"Who?! Tell me! Who has given up their life for me?! Answer me, Cesia!"  
  
His words became more insistent, each one becoming louder, more frightened, and then I understood. He knew, and was terrified. "WHO DID I KILL THIS TIME?!" he shrieked at me, the words pinging off the walls and resounding against the still curtains and furniture.   
  
"Answer me!!"  
  
His obvious emotion betrayed what had seemed to be a cleverly chosen exterior, which had always given the impression of cold indifference. But now he was showing something unintentional. He was revealing a cowering little boy, fear radiating off his body in waves or nauseating heat.   
  
I held his face up to mine until he was forced to look into my eyes. He had to see the truth in my words, even though I knew how much he would be hurting. "Kai-stern. Kai-stern gave his life to you. He loved you." I spoke slowly; making sure that Rath would understand why Kai-stern had done what he had. "I used the power of the wind staff and Kai-stern's life force to bring you back." I could tell he was unconvinced. Why Kai-stern? He pleaded with me, using his sparkling eyes to communicate his question.   
  
"Do you remember the Revival Water that was poured on you, Rath? Do you know what happens if it gets on someone who's not a demon?" I could tell that he didn't know. His eyes betrayed any pride he had within himself, but I didn't care. It didn't matter.  
  
"It slowly destroys the victim, first his body, and then his mind. It eventually kills him...very painfully. Rath, the Revival Water got on Kai-stern as well as you. He was already dead."  
  
He shoved me brutally away then, maddened by anger and grief. His rage seemed boundless almost, and he shredded a pillow in his sorrowful frustration, cursing. He yelled things I knew he didn't mean, but those words were the only things left to let him express his irate behavior. And then, the broken shadow of an innocent boy snuck out, his former mask shattered. "I-I...he's..."  
  
"Rath..."  
  
He seemed speechless, confused by the effects the sadness had upon his body. He raised one hand shakily towards his face, the only words of realization slipping out in a befuddled whisper, "Why am I crying?" The tears were slipping past the barrier he had up, sliding down his cheeks in a slow and dreary stream.   
  
"Demons don't feel pain. Monsters aren't supposed to cry!"  
  
Those words struck a note deep within my chest. Monsters? Rath was no monster. He was a demon, but then, so was I. No, I thought, he wasn't a monster. Just an angel with blackened wings.   
  
I reached up, and brushed his salty tears away. Then, as I knew Lady Raseleane had done, I kissed his forehead. For some reason that sort of kiss always comes off as motherly and comforting. And I'm not sure exactly why.   
  
I don't know if I'll ever figure it out, but something about Rath really draws me. I felt weak and sad, just as I knew he did. So, to force a little emotion away from sorrow, I leapt up. The flood of words that left my mouth was what I had secretly been thinking, ever since he had awoken.   
  
"Now, shut up! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Don't forget, you're not the only one here who's a yokai."  
  
"I...didn't forget," he said, his voice soft and surprised. A flush of embarrassment filled his cheeks, and I continued.  
  
"Don't make the situation harder than it already is. Stop acting like a spoiled child." A child. That's what he's always been, isn't it? I guess he had to grow up too fast, being demon in a dragon world. So he never got to be that little kid, fooling around just because it was fun. Everything he did had a purpose. And I felt such a strong bond to him; that it took me a moment to process what I wished to communicate.  
  
"If you feel lonely, just call my name." I murmured. His eyes were shinning unusually bright, and I wondered if it was because of his recently shed tears. "If you feel scared, just take hold of my hand," I said softly, lifting his hand in demonstration. "And if you feel your demon side taking over, just pray to God it isn't happening around me. Do you understand now?" I asked him, my voice pleading for his realization. "I am here for you, Rath Illuser."  
  
His voice reminded me of autumn wind when he spoke next, crackling with the dried leaves of fall. "....So this body was Crewger's" he muttered after a long pause, as if unsure of what to say.  
  
"That's right. He did it willingly, like Kai-stern."  
  
He looked so tired, spent and exhausted from our heated discussion. I silently berated myself, not pleased for riling him up as I did. So I cupped his cheek lovingly, in what I hoped would be comfort.  
  
"Now, how about a...good-night kiss?" I asked him, putting on a smile that I wasn't even sure was real. But I was willing to put on a brave face, a strong, happy expression, to ease the loss of his best friend, and to put his soul at ease. I owed him that much. So I bent over the edge of the bed, letting my lips brush delicately over his smooth skin. I paused and looked at him, for just a moment, and saw his breathing slow and regulate. I closed my eyes, letting out a long breath. And then I walked out through the heavy wooden doors, leaving behind my heart, and the sleeping man that kept it.  
  
:::End of Chapter Two:::  
  
I tried to keep with the storyline in the books, we'll start right where this one leaves off next time, so be prepared. Next chapter we find out what really lies beyond those heavy doors.  
  
Please R&R, I'd really appreciate it.   
  
Thanks again, all of you!!  
  
-Lady Dragonnaine 


	3. Goodbye to You

Dedication chapter 3:  
  
Mad Hatter, Hentaikoneko, Cesia Illuser, insaneoveranime, nice person, Stary Angel1, Gabby, Lisasa  
  
:::  
  
I waited until I heard the familiar click of the shutting doors. The body of a fallen warrior lay in a bloodstained pile before me, and my eyes narrowed in sorrow and hatred. But even as I did so, a hissing, all too familiar voice echoed around in my head. Go on, listen...the Lord--our Lord is calling you, sister. He wants you back, for you--we--belong to him. The land's most precious gem, remember? The walls were spattered thickly with blood, most off of it belonging to the dead or dying members of the Dragon Tribe. I tried to block out her husky voice, the devil of Dark Cesia, but instead I heard Nadil's rough call, which penetrated my brain far too easily.   
  
"Cesia... It's time for you to return home." the voice paused, as if deciding on a worthy wager. "Come with me, and I'll spare your precious Dragon Tribe. Refuse and I'll fill the castle with corpses."   
  
I glanced briefly at the bloodstained carpets and bodies of the deceased. They seemed to scream at me, with eyes wide and staring, or else closed in silent agony, but I dashed away all vulgar thoughts as I raced down the corridors to where I knew Nadil would be. My skirts trailed behind me as I ran, black satin billowing in a treacherous cloud.  
  
"Our work here is done. You're the only reason we remain. Come with us and we'll leave the palace immediately... Return to me.....Cesia." Nadil came into view just as my name repeated itself softly against the invisible void of his telepathy.   
  
I won't lie, Nadil was immortalized, and he looked like a god as well. His dark, coppery hair glimmered in the fading twilight, the glow lighting shadows across his sharply curving brows, and his chiseled features stood out strikingly as I approached him. "Okay Nadil...You win. Now call off your lackeys!" I called, my voice sounding far stronger than I felt. But I knew I had to do it, for the sake of the Dragon Tribe...for Rath. A loose cloak had fallen from his shoulders, the thick fabric now crooked in his arm. Nadil's body was clothed in fitted black, appropriate for the Lord of Demons. It took me a moment to realize that those were the same clothes that Rath had worn. He was in the same body that was once Rath's.   
  
"The siege will end now. Of course," he said to me, sounding arrogant and pleased with his good work, "You do understand that I will be back." it wasn't a question, merely a statement of his plans. And that realization made me convulse involuntarily. I was merely pausing the turmoil inflicted upon the castle. There was nothing more to do. I could stop him temporarily, but never more than that. I was weak, and useless.  
  
"Please Nadil..." I whispered, begging forgiveness with my voice. But even then I knew it was pointless, and so I added "I'm not the same little girl you once knew." Maybe I could be stronger than I thought I was capable of. I was trying to convince myself with my own words.  
  
"Next time I won't be so merciful." he said, and as he took me into his arms, I couldn't help but shiver. When Rath held me in these arms, I felt cherished and protected and--secretly--loved. When it was Nadil holding me, I felt his demonic aura stronger than anything I've ever felt before. It was pungent with evil, and I was instantly clothed in darkness. "Say your goodbyes, men... We're going home!" he yelled, pressing me close to his chest. I felt like crying out, calling back to Rath, my protector, my heart, but my throat would not permit the sound. Oh, Rath... Knowing I too had lied to him, even and especially since he trusted me, cut into my soul and I could feel the ceaseless twist of guilt. Rath's trust is a very difficult thing to receive. And I had made a mockery of it, breaking my promises and filling my heart with shame. Then, weak from fighting my inner demon, tired of the torment destroying the castle, and aching from leaving Rath's side, I let hot, salty tears trickle down my cheeks. Nadil brushed one away with a sweet tenderness, but it only made me sob harder. That hand used to be Rath's. And it was Rath that I would miss so badly. I fell against his chest, shivering and crying out in frustration.   
  
Then a horrible recognition shook me as I realized that my world was turning black.  
  
:::End of Chapter Three:::  
  
Ok, there you go! Another chapter, sappy as it was. VV; I couldn't help myself, I'm a RathCesia nut ;  
  
I'm sorry it's kind of short this time, guys, but I wanted to let you know that it's going to be updated regularly, so...  
  
I've got to fix up the next chapter, but it should be out relatively soon, hopefully on time (My goal is a chapter a week, or so, ok?)  
  
Thank you all!  
  
R&R  
  
-Lady Dragonnaine 


	4. Teenage Love

I'm sorry this took so long to update!!! (Hopefully, after reading the content, you will forgive me)  
  
Dedication: Insaneoveranime, Brotee, Stary Angel1, Hentaikoneko, Mad Hatter, Ginsing, Aquajogger, Lexzzz, Lisa, Cesia Rath luver. Personalized Dedications are at the bottom of the page.  
  
Hey all! If you're not old enough to be reading this, i.e. If you aren't at least 13, then go read "Here Without You" or another story cleaner than this. I highly doubt that this will stop any of you "underage" people. I know it wouldn't have stopped me...  
  
If you are "too young", then review, and I'll pretend that I don't know. (I probably don't, anyway.)  
  
If it doesn't seem to make sense at first, it should at the end, don't worry.  
  
Citrus-scented Rath-Cesia  
  
:::Chapter Four:::  
  
"Rath..."  
  
Crimson eyes met mine, a lithe body clothed in black turning to hear my words.  
  
"I have to...I can't..."  
  
"I know," he said softly, returning his gaze out the large window and into the darkened garden below his room.  
  
"Well..."   
  
"Do you think..." there was a long pause, and then Rath continued. "Do you want...?"  
  
Of course I wanted. I had since that night at Mt. Mfartha. Maybe even before. But...Nadil was coming for me. Did I really want intensity now? Like this?  
  
The answer was immediately in my head,   
  
"Yes." I wanted it, needed it, and now I had to have it.  
  
His eyes changed, softened perhaps, and he once again put his back to the windowpane. He walked over to me as one might a frightened animal, cautiously, carefully. It was as if he thought I would run away; run from him. That, of course, was impossible.  
  
For a few moments we just stood, no more than a foot apart. His eyes bore into mine, as if he was searching, prodding through my soul for an answer he wanted to see for himself. I fidgeted slightly; nervous that he would find something he shouldn't in my gaze. I did not want him to find something that would cause disappointment to flash in his eyes. It would break my heart. I tried to reciprocate the action, looking into his flawless blood-red irises, and was surprised at what I found. He was just as unsure as I was. But we both knew what we wanted, and were just to scared of loosing the other. At least, that was my reasoning. Rath raised his hand hesitantly, and brushed back a lock of my hair. My body stiffened, every inch of me frozen; trying my best to retain that feeling, the tingling sensation of his skin on mine. I had gotten more from his feeble touch than in any experience I had ever had in my entire life. And, to be perfectly honest, I'm not exactly new at this sort of thing. But when I was here with Rath, it was as if my past had been erased, and I was once again a shaking virgin, unsure of what I needed versus what I wanted, and insecure about everything and anything.  
  
But after these thoughts had raced through my head, I couldn't take the tension any longer, and so I cupped his face in my hands, leading him closer to me. And then, much to his surprise, I knew; I kissed him. If I could only kiss him once, I would make it count. My hands left his face as my arms wrapped around his neck instead. I became more insistent, beckoning his mouth open with my tongue. I was a filled with a strange form of elation as he moaned into my mouth, his sweet breath making my senses reel. His tongue darted in, consistent with his arms circling my waist. He pulled me even closer, until our bodies were pressed to each other. His hands groped at my skin, running through my hair, sliding down my back. A dark voice in the back of my head told me to relish in it while I could, for there would never be anything more. And I couldn't help it; I couldn't stop the tears from slipping out. We pulled away briefly then, and Rath looked at me. His breathing was labored as he spoke, "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have--" My fingers flew to his moistened mouth, silencing him from speaking. "I don't care," I whispered softly, taking the step in-between us. "It's worth it." I gave him a half-smile, and his eyes enveloped me, filling me with warmth and pleasure, my need strengthening me further.  
  
"Oh, God," he groaned, slumping against the wall as my fingers danced to undo the buttons that were hiding his skin from my eyes. I grinned, leaned forward, and placed a wanton kiss upon his slightly opened mouth. He made a low, guttural sound, arching his back and pressing his palms against the stone beneath him.   
  
"Bed," he gasped out, his mouth still hungry for my touch. I pulled him forward with the loosened collar of his shirt, wanting and needing his sweetened taste. He pushed me back and onto his mattress, almost crushing me with his weight and heat. I felt on fire, sparking with passion and pressure and lust.  
  
With insistence we fumbled at each other's clothing, in too much haste to worry about silly things like buttons and snaps. My eyes ran strong with salty tears that slid down my cheeks and dripped off my chin. Rath licked them off my lips with such a sweet caring and tender approach. His eyes were dampened too, but neither of us really cared by then. We needed to love, just once, to unite in one moment of ecstasy and joy and passion... Our bodies rose and meshed, soft caresses in the darkness. The fabric of our clothing pooled beneath us, finally freeing us from their restrictions. His lips felt so good, so sweet and gentle and firm against mine, our tongues joining in an irresistible dance, and I couldn't help but release a cry of sheer pleasure. Our figures twisted, rolled, caught in the heat and lust and need of the moment, both of us doing nothing but falling into the depths of passion and emotion; where there was no room for coherent thoughts, where nothing but the melding of our bodies mattered.  
  
My vision felt fogged, blurring slightly, until my eyes flew open, and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment, even though I knew was all alone. A voice in my head was laughing, poisonous tendrils attempting to wrap around my mind and escape. I wanted to cry. Scaly green-black tentacles surrounded the edge of my bed, no longer touching me, as they had been moments before. They hissed, slipping off my soft bedding and sheets. They made me feel like throwing up. It was too dark to see my surroundings, even though I could see the smooth shapes on my bed. Nauseous and tear-streaked, I curled up into a familiar fetal position, trying to get myself under control. And, with nothing else to calm me, I thought of the person I left behind.  
  
I don't even have Rath beside me. He understood who I was, what I am...and didn't care. How I wish I was back in his strong arms, engulfing me in a warmth and power and presence so purely Rath. It's indescribable, really, he just has a smell, a feel, that he just simply is. And I miss him, the ache in the very roots of my soul, my heart is grieving, but still I suffer in silence.   
  
Nadil must not know the bond I have. I must hide it under layers of fabric, the curtains that will shroud my soul from his evil.  
  
:::End of Chapter Four:::  
  
If I ever grow up, I think I want to be a romance novelist. There was a steamier version of this, but I tried to water it down so as to keep the rating decent. Which I am not sure that I did. If you think I should change the rating, please let me know (in a review would be nice).  
  
Dedications:  
  
Insaneoveranime: Wow! I'm SO glad you like this! And, just for future reference, unless specified, every chapter will be Cesia's point of view.  
  
Brotee: You owe me, big time. "Here Without You" was supposed to be a deathfic and a one-shot, which this one is not. However, I have made my final decision, and there will be a sequel... "I Feel You" should be out by the 1 year anniversary of H.W.Y. THANK YOU!   
  
Stary Angel1 and Hentaikoneko: YES! RathCesia fans of the world unite!!! ::waves flags:: Par-tay!! ::dancing around:: ok, I'll stop. Thanks to both of you from being here from the start, I love your comments and support ::getting teary::  
  
Mad Hatter: ::emotional:: You were with me from my first DK story, and I owe you lots. Nadil (I try to keep him as In Character as possible) wants Cesia, for her power mainly, but he also feels that her body is the only thing worthwhile on her, if that helps any. I hope my story counts as a good story...  
  
Ginsing: hey! Glad you liked it...I don't know in how much demand R/C citrus is, but hey, I guess I'll find out. And I forgive you for not reviewing last chapter.  
  
Aquakjogger aka Ally aka AJ: I TOLD you this already. The Nadil/Cesia is coming very soon. Chapter after this one, I believe. Creepy. Very creepy. ::is pleased that AJ likes sad stories, as they are the only ones she is good at::  
  
Lexzzz: I'm glad you like it, even though it is sad. I am good at angst, and bad at things that are not angst. I cannot write humor or anything besides Angst/Romance well, because I cannot give them any plot. Ever. It is very sad. (no pun intended)  
  
Lisa: Yes, thank you very very much! Poor Rath...  
  
Cesia Rath luver: Your name says it all. You rock! And being a little nutty myself, here I am to save your sanity...an update! ::bows:: I am honored that you love my story, I try my best, you know.  
  
If you like my story, I hope you will put me on your author alert list, just in case the rating gets switched to R.  
  
Goodness, this is long! I am sorry! Review anyway, please!  
  
Lady Dragonnaine 


	5. Touch Me, I'm Screaming

Dedication: Hentaikoneko, Mad Hatter, Ginsing, Insaneoveranime, Lisa, Tsume Yamagata, aquajogger, Lexzzz, Cesia Illuser  
  
To be perfectly honest, this was originally the first chapter I ever wrote for this story, before I had come up with a title or decent plot or anything. So, with a little tweaking, I have fixed it up. I am quite proud of this chapter.  
  
Also, this is now rated R, because...well, you'll see in this chapter. Lets just say, it is more explicit than the previous one.  
  
:::Chapter Five:::  
  
I was naked. Lying exposed on silken sheets, my hair loose and my neck bare. I smiled. Finally I was free, free to roam this haven. I could feel unrestrained power emanating in thick waves around me. Someone had cast a protection spell around my satin surroundings. Unfortunately, this meant that those beautiful tendrils--the ones that had embraced the ungracious soul previously--had dispersed.  
  
I felt so divinely demon, so purely evil, and I fought to crush the sobbing voice in the very back of my mind. Tough luck, girl, there's too much fun to be had out here. Oh, how I hated her, her whining, crying, pitiful existence. There wasn't time in this world to be babied. Just time enough to LIVE, to experience everything, to spite all and come up on top. And that was why I needed Nadil. I rose from the bed, my hair cascading in waves over my shoulders, raven locks gleaming in rosy sweetness. The room was huge, a vast bedchamber bathed in black. I sighed. This was heaven. My pale fingers danced across my velvety surroundings, relishing in the darkness, the tainted evils, the rush of ecstasy as I did so. I laughed aloud, so pleased to hear my own bell-like laugh, the darkness echoing around in a soothing evil. My soul was at home. But then the door opened.  
  
Nadil stood in the doorway, magnificence coating him, that sly, cocky look plastered on his face. I would seduce him. Make him mine, wholly and fully. I deserved him, mind, body, and soul. I would have him. He would be mine, and mine alone.  
  
"Cesia," he whispered, "It's been awhile."  
  
"Too long," I purred, crossing my legs and sitting on the bottom of the silk laded bed. "Much too long." My breasts ached for his touch, as I remembered it. The way he cherished my body, his feather-light caresses in the dark of night, the pleasure he evoked from my very soul when I was spread over his bed, the way he moaned at the way my fingers instinctively clawed across his back.  
  
"I'm sorry I can't stay," he said, breaking me from my memories and letting his fingers travel across the inside of my thigh, "There's a lot I must do now."  
  
I pouted. I had had to suffer so long without him, why leave me now; when my body screams for that remembered pleasure, leaving me shivering with anticipation. "One kiss?" I asked, my mind racing, desperate for a moment with him, however small. He nodded in his own way, his eyes twinkling like raven's wings. He bent down and I stood unabashed, lacing my arms around his neck to pull him closer to me. I poured my passion into that kiss, heating it with a desire and magic strong enough to entice him more than he could reason.  
  
"You're stronger," he breathed into my mouth, pulling me flat onto my back. It was no more than a statement of discovery, and I ignored it, still persistent for my kiss. I tugged with expert fingers at the clasps and ties that covered him, exhaling softly as the expensive materials fell from his flawless shoulders. And that little voice in my mind wailed. Screw her, so what? She was sobbing now, fuck it all. It was getting harder and harder to focus on my current objective, the thick-laden clasp just at his groin. He pushed himself against my hands, letting loose the most heavenly groan. So there bitch, I've made the Lord of all Demons groan with desire. My mouth found his again, and I smiled into the kiss as I freed him from the clasp. He hardened under my touch, biting down onto my lip until it trickled blood. I did not flinch, for his long, catlike tongue lapped it up artfully, and I arched my back at the pleasure it caused. Oh God...I loved a lover that knew what he was doing. And did it causing both pain and incredible ecstasy.  
  
Finally freed from all the unnecessary clothing, he fell upon me, tasting, touching, making sure every inch of me received attention. I retained the sense of mind, and remembered what I knew men liked so much. Smiling my classic, devilish smile, I ran one long finger over his length, wanting to laugh aloud at his incoherent moan and the faint convulsions that overtook his body. "No games," he muttered to me softly. "You've learned far too much."  
  
I did allow myself a little escape of sound then, like wind chimes in a distant breeze. But my laughter was cut short with a gasp of pleasure. I lifted myself up against him, moaning as he found one of my breasts. I cried out his name, my veins sputtering with white heat. He laughed against my chest, causing little spirals of pleasure to rush through me. As he serviced the other one, my hips instinctively rocked against his own, and I watched his eyes close with restraint. A demon like Nadil knew what pleasure really was. A lustful spin on silken sheets, sweet, painful kisses, terrible temptation and roaring passion. It was nothing compared to the ripping apart of other demons, pleasing though that was to watch. But as I was contemplating this, Nadil took advantage of my minute distraction to force his way into me. I could feel myself, unprepared, contort and tear beneath him. I shrieked, arching my back with pain and twisting as if to get away.  
  
"Remember now, darling?" he asked me in his deep and husky voice, making me gasp as he thrust into me further still. His breath blew light and smooth over my exposed chest, making the sprouting tears in my eyes burn harder than before. Oh, the pain racked my body with enough to cause sobbing, but it felt so good, the searing pain, as if a serrated knife were pressed to my skin. The ecstasy was building in my center, but pain weakened me, and that snotty goody-two shoes side was more likely to take over. No matter how much I wanted to resist her irritating snobbery, there was always the risk. Better to thrive on the thrill of the experience. Most demons would kill for this, what I had gotten Nadil to do to me. And then it was over, my blood and tears spattering the black satin sheets. Nadil smiled at me, a lustful Cheshire cat, white teeth gleaming. He stroked my ebony locks tenderly, and rose.  
  
"I must go now, Cesia" he called as he went to retrieve his forgotten garments. "I really came just to see if you were conscious." he winked at me, shrugging a long cloak over his shoulders. "I'm locking you in, my precious gem." and with that, he disappeared through a heavy black mist of magic, to what I could only assume was the gilded door.  
  
Once I was sure he was out of hearing range, I fell back upon the bed, dampened with sweat and blood and tears, and laughed. It was a dark laugh that spread a cushioning feeling of sinister comfort to me alone. I became engulfed in my own cloud of spite and hatred, relishing in the aftermath of my most recent encounter with the Lord, and the cold chip of ice my heart had become.  
  
I fell asleep, content to listen to the terrified screams of the woman in my head.  
  
:::End of Chapter Five:::  
  
Special Notes:  
  
Mad Hatter: Damn, you are PSYCHIC or something. Although this seems to be leaning more towards lemon, don't you think? But yeah...your guess was dead on. Congrats!  
  
Aquajogger: HERE YOU GO! HAPPY NOW? ::giggles:: You've been pestering me about it for the past...well, EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER SO FAR...  
  
Right-y...next chapter I think will be clean though...chapter 8 at the latest will be the next raunchy one. Does anyone have any complaints about any actions in the fic? Any complaints about characters? Are they still IN character? (I sure hope so...) How's Nadil? Creepy enough?  
  
I have never EVER seen a story (chapter, anything...) done from Dark Cesia's point of view. I'd love to read another though, if there is one. She should be back to her normal Cesia self very soon. I suppose being in Nadil's castle makes it hard for you to fight the demon side...  
  
Sorry, all you Rath/Cesia fans. But I did say that this story would have Nadil/Cesia.  
  
Lady Dragonnaine 


	6. Encounter With Death

OK, with all honesty...I did this chapter before even reading book 14. Needless to say, when I read book 15...

Let's just say there was a lot of blinking and "OHMIGOD" and "Hey...I must be psychic, kinda..."

It was a very, very cool realization, anyway.

No real spoilers for book 15, no worries.

SAY HELLO TO MY MUSE, EVERYONE! Angellen makes a brief appearance in this chapter, although I must say she was rather upset with me when she realized how I wrote her in. I apologize, Angellen, but...this chapter is done from Dark Cesia's POV...she isn't very nice...

And this was what I was afraid of by switching the rating. I seem to have lost five or so of my "regular" reviewers. In any case...On with the dedication to those of you still reading!!

Dedication: Aquajogger, Hentaikoneko, lisa, Stary Angel1, Sarehptar, Kelsey, Insaneoveranime

::Chapter Six::

I awoke to the scuffling of a female demon, draped in a skin-tight full length dress and eyes that were caked in heavy black liner. Her skin was even paler than mine, it seemed to glow with a pearlescent sheen. It was ghostly white, meeting the black silk with such contrast that it was nearly blinding me. She turned to look at me when she heard a rustle of the the silken sheets, her deep purple lips parting to release a harsh whisper, "Shall I draw you a bath, Lady Cesia?"

Her voice crackled and rasped as if it were a thousand years old, and I pitied her. Her eyes met mine with a fierce pang of jealousy, but far too weak a thing for me to bother with. I was still lying naked beneath the thin silk of my black sheet, the shinning material artfully spread over my body, supple cloth moving to match my curves. My skin felt hot and sticky, and my hair was still damped near the roots, even though it was spread out beneath me in a velvety blanket.

"Lord Nadil," she said, her voice dry as chalk, "Will be back to see you later. He said he wished for you to be rested and pristine once more, when he returned." She looked at me pointedly, her encrusted lashes beating like a dying butterfly.

I took a deep breath, so pleased that my voice was still smooth and soft and satiny, and spoke, "I will bathe now, then." I felt almost as though I should have offered a 'thank you', but dismissed the futile thought as quickly as it had arrived.

She turned, her uniformed black gown swishing as she made her way through a door I hadn't seen the previous night. She swung the door open, and I had to restrain myself from gasping in shock. It was a huge bathroom, with slick black marble floors, flecked with gold and green. The bath itself was quite large, enough to fit five people with ease. It's polished edges were gilded with gold, and there was an enormous curtain that was held on rungs for convenience. It appeared to be made of some kind of rare smoky silk, near transparency but not enough to be revealing, and embroidered with golden dragonflies. The demon twisted the flawless faucets, almost smiling as the liquid poured from the taps, swirling smoke exiting from one of the spots. She bustled on, opening cabinets I wouldn't have seen otherwise, pulling vials from the matching marble shelves. There was a frosted purple bottle, it's contents fizzing unusually as it was removed from it's place. Then green, which bubbled unnaturally, and pink, which changed to a vibrant ruby when placed on the edge of the bath. I watched, awestruck as she poured the liquid into the running water. Each time there was a flash of colored light, and after the red one emptied, the tub stilled eerily. It seemed as if powdered crystals had been poured within, it sparkled so. But then she came out of the bathroom, and once again I caught the glimpse of jealousy as she approached me.

"Your bath is ready," she said, her voice rough as sandpaper, and even as she spoke I could feel the exiting steam caress my skin. As soon as I had risen from the bed, she began to strip it, pulling off the sheets and downy pillow cases to reveal blackened material beneath. She had thought better of wrinkling her nose, I noted, for I knew the soiled cloth was still dampened. Bare and exposed, I held my head high as I made my way into the gorgeous bathroom. After all, Nadil's Queen must act dignity-at-all-times, mustn't she?

The minute I entered the room I was savagely beaten with a thousand intoxicating scents. The room was heavenly, clouds of perfume hovered in a light-blue haze near the ceiling, and it was almost as if I were outside, about to dip into a hot spring. As I pulled myself into the water, I nearly gasped. This bath, obviously charmed, was incredible. It was as if I was getting a full body massage by simply slipping into the tub. I was reclining in the ecstasy when,

"Shall I wash your hair now, Lady Cesia?"

I suppressed a grumble and turned myself in the froth to stare at her. There was the nameless, would-be-faceless-if-not-for-the-eye-liner maid, her dress boasting far too much cleavage for her minute cup size. I bit my lip to restrain from a word of hissing spite, although I'm not too sure why.

"Yes," I ground out, sinking still lower into the tub. "Please do."

As she began to work on my long dark hair, three of her cronies appeared. While they scrubbed and polished and primped me, I wondered if she had called them for such a task, or if they just knew instinctively. Either way, they were high-class, well trained demons. But then again, Nadil would have only the best, would he not?

"Angellen," came a velvet voice, drifting undistorted into the room, bouncing off the walls and sparkling like a million bubbles. "Get out." the tune finished, leaving the residue of tarnished poison to cling to the walls of my surroundings, coating everything but me in thick tar. So my maid wasn't nameless. Angellen, huh? The name piqued my interest, my thoughts racing in a million particles, searching endlessly for the source and meaning of the word. Finding the name deep within the heavy cabinets of my mind, my eyes widened at the meaning, making me shiver in the steaming liquid. Angellen...it was from an ancient language I had thought died out with the fallen fairies, their molten personalities at the fault of their demise.

It meant 'to die'.

'Death' and her followers had left the room, and I could hear her muttering softly, but the words did not meet my ears, my comprehension limited. "My Lord," were the only audible words I managed to catch from my occupation in the tub. Nadil was back? Oh, good Lord. I rolled my eyes, watching the shadow creep closer and closer to me. But when it arrived, it wasn't Nadil.

It was Shyrendora.

:::End of Chapter Six:::

A/N: Angellen is a Native American word, taken from the Lenni Lenape language. (Yes, I am Lenape by blood) the full definition is taken from , my father's website, and is as follows: "Angellen, to die; (lit., going to decay, may be applied to animate objects during life. A.)" Pronounciation is also different, not being "Angel-N", but "Angle-EN"...well, more of an "ah" on the A, but...ok, I'll stop. On with personalized dedications!

Yes, I know Nadil wants Raseleane as his queen, not Cesia, but dark Cesia is rather arrogant, so there you go. And sorry for the semi-cliffy...

Aqua: Too bad. I can promise you more raunchiness, though. Besides, I wrote that Thachel NC-17 lemon. What more do you want?

Hentai & K-chan: glomps I love you guys! very supportive, me very appreciating.

Lisa/Kelsey: LISA!!! KELSEY!!! thank you guys so much, I want to be a romance novelist. Working on it...

Stary Angel1: thank you!

Sarehptar: I LOVE that pic! It is SO Nadil... But yes, poor Saabel. I have this theory for that scene...but it'll come into play later in this fic, so...

I hope I am keeping everyone in character! Please tell me if something is off or if someone is OOC. I want to keep them all in check.

My 50th reviewer is.....

Insaneoveranime!: Were ye in a Bri'ish mood when ye sent tha' review? An' yes, aye do agree with the creepiness level that Cesia/Nadil brings. However, aye wanted to do a chapter with Dark Cesia, as aye had never seen her used before, so it was necessary for the ongoin' of the fic. Never fear, R/C will remain the tru'st pairin' 'ere! (Remember me summary? "A story about the true power of love..." ...Guess which two pe'ple THAT'S talking 'bout...) an' Cesia should switch back t' normal by next chapter. Aye dunna ken wha' it's gonna be abou', bu' am strangely remind'd of me last trip to Loch Ness...An' Edinburgh, come t' tha'. Hard'r to write in a Scot'sh accent, you see. 'ope I kept true t' me roots an' di'n't mangle i' too much.

Insaneoveranime, you lucky dog, you. As my 50th reviewer, I am dedicating (donating, presenting, giving, etc) you a (short) fic of your very own! I am assuming you wish for it to be an R/C story, but contact me (in either a review or an email) with more details, and I will present it too you as soon as I write it. enjoy!

I would give out fanart, but I am a crap artist, so...

REVIEW EVERYONE!

Please?

My next chapter will come out as soon as I finish it, but school is starting up and I will not even be on the island again until the 21...when I leave for camp until the 23...

Lady Dragonnaine


	7. Poison Kisses

Holy crap! (if you'll pardon me saying so) This is the first story I've had that has EVER made 10,000 words!! cheers And in only 12 weeks! (if I did the math right, which is unlikely)

Insaneoveranime: I am working on your fic, it should be ready sometime...but I don't want to be specific in case I get writer's block or whatever. It IS coming, I'll tell you that. I keep my commitments. Congrats!

Stary Angel1: So glad you are! And thank you very much for your compliments!

Hentaikoneko: YOU!!! glomps Thank you!!! feels very loved I'm so touched...

Chisakami Saiyuki: Hey! You're new!! Glad to "see" a new person in the DK world! I'm happy you're joining us here, and especially happy that you've discovered my story! I'm thrilled that you like it, and I hope I am keeping all those nasty characters (Nadil, Shyrendora, etc...) in their correct personalities. Most stories don't focus on the dark aspects, and I want this to be as pure to the character's nature as possible.

Ginsing: Yes, true, you DID do that. I give you credit. nods And I only have one muse, and weirdly enough I didn't know she WAS my muse, until after I'd wrote that chapter. Strange, hmm? Yes, I know that chapter was a little pointless...This one should help tie it back together, however. praying

Mad Hatter: huggles You're back!!! I was so sad when I didn't get a review!! And, as you may realize when you find this one, the rating is now R and therefore does not appear on the main page, unless you bookmark is as "Rating: R", which is what I do, personally. I don't like missing stories either...glomps THANK YOU!!!!! ego is quite enlarged I am SO happy you love my ficcy...I work hard on it...and yes, I agree with you about most R/C. I like knowing that not everyone/everything is perfect, and that people have faults. That's the metaphor here...the "inner demons" that they all have to fight.

Lisa: Lisa! hugs No problem! And yes, I'll explain.

Aquajogger: yes, this is it. And this isn't your AU, so no, they aren't.

Holy...I was updating with 59 reviews, because I had waited weeks, and the 60th one never came. And then, minutes before I post this, it comes. #60. Lexzzz, I love you. Thank you for supporting me, that is so much appreciated. Here's your update.

:::Chapter 7:::

Shyrendora stood, framed in the doorway, her height dwarfing me as I sulked in the tub.

"Get out and dressed," she spat at me, venom dripping from her every word.

Angrily I heeded her words, knowing the punishment if I failed to follow her instructions. She always had been the quicker one to flame. My clothes were piled neatly, pressed and beautiful, but smelling of cinders and blood. I felt a little queasy as I slid into my undergarments. Silk, satin, velvet...it seemed that no expense had been spared for my outfit. And there, at the bottom of the pile, I saw it.

My Dragon Amulet.

Hastily I slipped it on, tying it in a taut bow around my throat and slipping it into the folds of my blouse. I didn't know if it was intentionally left for me, and I didn't want to risk losing my only defense against dark Cesia.

"I saw your sheets," Shyrendora said sharply, breaking me from my distractions, and shackling my wrists with her tone. "The blood...it was yours, wasn't it?"

I couldn't speak, suddenly feeling as though ice had frozen my veins. But I nodded, stepping back as she swore. The shackles appeared around my ankles, and I was frozen.

"That was a foolish thing to do. You are still tainted." she wrinkled her nose in disgust and whispered, "...so tainted..."

"And so?" I asked, albeit a bit haughtily. What did it matter what I did with Nadil? Or, to be more accurate, what Nadil did to me.

The shackles tightened.

"It matters," she said as I dressed, looking at me with her penetrating, death-like eyes. "because your blood is foul, vulgar, rancid. When you tore, you blood was fresh and potent. You are cursed, and that charm travels under your skin. It lives in your veins."

"My blood is no more poisoned than yours," I spat back to her. "and you are forced to split yourself, to divide your life by another's. You will never lead more than a half-life."

"You bitch," she murmured, fire seeming to leap out from behind her, flame licking it's way up and around her body. "You are an insult to us all. A mockery of a demon. A joke, a lie, a wicked whore."

But something had overcome me (perhaps, now, I think it may have been one facet of my darkness), and glared at her, angrily rising to meet the challenge of her words. And then, much to my surprise, considering my offence, I found my voice.

"A whore? Barely a day goes by when someone does not grace your bed, Shyrendora. What are you going to do to me? Turn me into a slave of yours, like Gil? Or a prize of power to be won, like Nadil? A like soul, as Shydeman...he is the one to most often grace you, I would say. Or am I just an ordinary demon, kept for your own sick fantasies, as Fedelta is? But no..." I paused, my stifled grin escaping into a wider, toothy snarl. "I really am just another body. I am just like your brother. I am nothing more than a used toy, like the Black Dragon Officer."

Her eyes flared angrily, darting over and coating me with rage and hatred. She erupted like a volcano, unleashing the full blast of her rage upon me.

"Tetheus was not who you say he is. He was a noble demon. My lover, my heart, my soul. Blood made no difference then. And neither shall yours when I spill it across the floor."

Back and forth we went, hissing spite like jousting serpents. Black versus white, dark versus light. With the Dragon Amulet on, I could no longer feel my other side fighting for control. Just Shyrendora, standing before me in long robes, smirking with anger and interest. I was competition to her, just another body valued by Lord Nadil, for one reason or another. Just another person standing between her and the most powerful being to walk Kainaldia.

"Oh yes," she said before she left, the corners of her ruby lips twitching into a catlike smirk. "Lord Nadil asked me to give you this." She bent down, her scent cold and icy. Crimson lips met mine with a crushing, lustful tune; a sort of dark passion melding in our shared breath. My eyes closed, and I was lost to her; lost to this eerie feeling. I felt so numb and yet so alive, as if every cell of my being were bursting with explosive energy, but at the same time, so dully lethargic. I was frozen within the very essence of death, as if my soul was leaving me in this one kiss. She bit my bottom lip, coaxing my mouth open, and I was surprised that I complied, perhaps too willingly. She smiled into the kiss, and I felt myself want more from her. And then it hit me.

I was being cursed.

And I was no longer in control enough to stop it. She whispered something softly into my mouth, forcing broken tendrils of air to caress my skin. I did not even feel the ground as I hit it, numb and dizzy and tired as I was.

When I finally regained control over my body, the glowing rays of dusk shone into the perfect, spider-webbed glass, illuminating the room in yet another array of colors, this time darting between blood-red and midnight blue. Shyrendora was gone, having left me to lie unconscious on the floor, tied and bound within my mind. While I had been numb before, I was now being cut into with a thousand shards of broken glass, twisting into every part of my body. My head swam with shattered images, warped and twisted music played timidly in minor keys, and my vision was constantly blurred with tears and stars.

I staggered out of the bathroom and onto the small balcony beyond the bedroom, my nausea relieved when I felt the cool air swirl around me, holding me in a fashion so comforting--it reminded me of the parents I had never had. I had to hold myself up with the balcony, but so what? I had my power, I had my wind, and I was safe. Dark Cesia had been concealed again, and I was back. I hated Nadil with all my heart and soul, but at least I was protected by him. No one could harm me now, for although my eyes still spun with a dozen fairy lights, although my body still swayed with the dizziness of an unrequited love, and although part of me was forever trapped within the abyss that became my mind, I was untouchable.

And that made me irresistibly powerful.

:::End of Chapter 7:::

Goodness, a tiny bit of yuri in this fic too? And before any yaoi! My goodness. Shyrendora/Cesia. I know most (probably all) of you hate me for pairing up Cesia with all these evil, creepy sadists...but hey, it's still creepy, isn't it? I apologize, I just think that Cesia would be toyed with, especially around Nadil's castle, and that she would be used.

Sorry for the long wait, school started up, and I was distracted by this guy...long story. Anyway, I apologize for making you all wait, and here I am! ::is thinking of making a side Tetheus/Shyrendora story::

Cesia is my favorite female DK character by a mile, so it will work out for her, I promise.

Please R&R, ideas or suggestions are loved, as is constructive criticism, and of course, compliments! ;

Thank you, everyone!!!

Holy...I was updating with 59 reviews, because I had waited weeks, and the 60th one never came. And then, minutes before I post this, it comes. #60. Lexzzz, I love you. Thank you for supporting me, that is so much appreciated. Here's your update.

The more reviews/suggestions I get, the faster I update! (This unfortunately means that I am going to wait for my 70 review before I update again. I need time to write that next chapter...)

Lady Dragonnaine


	8. Blood, Pain, and Pleasure

Woah, a lot of reviews for that chapter...I'll try to answer them as best I can, 'kay? If you don't want to bother with the dedications and responses, scroll down a bit and you'll get to the action. Thanks!

Mad Hatter: There will be NO Cesia/Lykouleon in this fic. That is creepy, and I don't like it. It is creepy in a way very, very different from all these Demon pairings. Instead of being forced into submission, like Cesia is here, it is like hanging out with a dirty old man. A nice man, but one who is already married and quite old, though he doesn't look it. shudders NO. Just no. I TOTALLY Agree about Dark Rath. Rowr. VERY rowr. Hmm...that is an idea...I WILL bring Dark Rath into this fic at some point, guaranteed. And yes, he will be like you imagine, because that is too yummy a Rath to NOT do it. loves the Dark Rath description ooer.

Chisakami Saiyuki: Thanks for the hug!! Honestly, I don't think I will do it again, but I make no promises. I just kind of go one chapter at a time, using the ideas that strike my fancy. I know it is freaky, it's kind of my intention, but yeah. I agree with you. Poor Cesia!

Hentaikoneko: You're welcome! I tried to make this one different. I haven't seen much yuri AT ALL in DK land, so I thought I'd add in a bit, you know...Glad you liked it!

Insaneoveranime: ::sniffles:: I...I'm sorry....::cries:: I didn't mean to bother you so!

Stary Angel1: it was short? O.O ehehe...sorry?

Lady Kilgorin: Kat! Hi! Thanks for reviewing! Tell me what you liked or didn't like or whatever next time, okay? Oh, and technically they aren't spoilers, because the books HAVE been released in English...you just hadn't read them all yet. Therefore...

Lexzzz: thank you!!! I am updating as soon as I finish and proof this, so it has just been completed!

Kage Ohkami: I think, personally, that Cesia is still in shock from the (more or less) rape by Nadil. And when she is in the tub (chapter 6) she is still "Dark" Cesia. If you reread it, you'll notice little giveaways that she is still thinking dark thoughts. Thank you, I do appreciate your comment, as I have said many times before, my goal has always been to keep and portray the characters to the best of my abilities.

BakaNeko: Why thank you!! ::is a little nutty herself:: I'm flattered you'd say such a thing! And I'm glad you like the plot, odd and rather plot-less seeming that it is...

Raesia Artist: Hi!! I know you!! Thank you, thank you, and I'm glad you liked my ending! Endings are hard sometimes... And I'll try not to do more ShyrendoraCesia.

moonwillow: I LOVE your name!! 'tis so pretty! And thank you SO much for your review! made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...I am SO, SO glad you say I got Shyrendora IC. She is HARD!

Aquajogger: I changed the titles because they had gotten rather cheesy. And being lactose intolerant, I don't really like cheese. You may have noticed, but I DID change chapter 5 back to "Touch Me, I'm Screaming" just for you. And yes, I agree about the titles. Okay darling, here's the story, so goes the gossip train. Tetheus and Shyrendora had a "thing" for a while...she loved him because he made her feel special and cherished and pure...and he was DAMN hot. She was sexy, raunchy, hard to get, and yet, because they were siblings, she was easily accessible. Hormones. LOTS of eager, VERY eager, hormones.

:::Chapter 8:::

My eyes caught upon the dark star of Kainaldia, and I watched it pulse with evil. I could not remember its name, certain though I was that I had heard it before. And then, like a flash of blinding light, I saw him.

Rath.

The one who had entered my dreams with stormy eyes that drew me in; and held me captive in their embrace. His name echoed around in my brain, the word reflecting what I saw before me.

Rath...

He looked the same, still handsome, perfect and kind. I wanted to reach out to him, to hold him and cry for all I had gone through, all I had suffered without him by my side. I wanted to cry on his shoulder and apologize for all the wrongs I caused him, how undeserving of his love I was, to betray him for Nadil. To allow Nadil to do to me what I had only hoped to do with him.

I was reminded of my dream, where I had let my inherent passion take control of my consciousness. It seemed that Rath and I had been no more than inexperienced teenagers, writhing on the sheets in some sort of instinctual heat. And I shamed myself, knowing I had let it all go--even if it was nothing more than a dream. I suppose, in truth, it was because I knew that I would do it all again if I could. That deep down, I had no regrets, and I felt nothing for giving myself to Rath. But he deserved better than that.

I watched him silently after that, trying not to blink, not to ruin the image I had of him, and I was frozen in time. I could not tell you then, nor could I now, how long I stayed on the balcony, my eyes faced towards the starry moon, beckoning him to me. Begging him to come and save a bedraggled girl we both thought he knew. Even if I had betrayed his trust, his love. It was a far-fetched thought, that he would come to get me after all I had done to wrong him, when I no longer was deserving of what he had to offer me. I did not deserve the heir to the Dragon Lord.

But then his image turned, his reflection in the moon, and our eyes met. I had to stifle a scream. His eyes were still that beautiful red...but they were empty. Hollow. He was nothing more than a shell, bleached and dry upon the sand. Those red pools were no more.

'Forget me, Cesia...I am no more,' his eyes told me. 'I have nothing to give you. I am sorry. I don't know what we had, only that I felt good being with you. But I can't save you; I can't do what you want me to. You're better off living in the Demon castle.'

"Bastard!" I cursed, whirling around to see Nadil smiling like a devlish serpent behind me. "Don't you dare make a mockery of me!"

"Now, Cesia...you know that is the truth. Your precious Dragon Knight is nothing more than a scared little boy; we both know that. And you couldn't change him if you tried."

"Go to Hell." I hissed at him, and he laughed in my face.

"But Cesia, this is Hell. Haven't you realized that by now?" His eyes bore into mine, penetrating and powerful and I felt as if he were raping my soul with his eyes, stripping me down until I was naked and cowering before him. I winced and looked away, gluing my eyes to the floor, but I did not hear him leave. And then I figured it out.

He had been no more than a hologram.

I could hear laughter, echoing around me, and my head spun with the voice, it's repetitive, melancholy drone cackling loudly into the backdrop of my mind, blocking out everything, and every one of my senses crumbled to it. I was gripping the balcony and struggling to remain upright, as I was overpowered by a sound I could not recognize. I simply could not place it, and that made me feel nauseous and scared.

Then I choked; the evil flew into my open mouth, coating my teeth with a tainted vortex of sinister darkness. I pressed my eyes shut, feeling my body convulse and contort with the force of the venom. I clutched at my midsection, gagging under the strain of keeping my insides in. I stumbled, teetering and finally falling, feeling one of my knees splinter from the impact. The pain joined with the fear and evil presence, I was on my hands and knees, retching out the darkness, the poison, the blood. My vomit was a sickening combination of crimson and black bile. It sickened me more still, and I shuddered with terror and anger. I coughed up another wad of slime, trying desperately to ignore the vile splattering as it hit the ground. My limbs were shaking uncontrollably now, there was evil, so much darkness and power, I was crying and coughing up wave upon wave of dark, ruby blood, but my eyes were shut tight, and I couldn't have opened them if I tried, fearing that they too were encrusted with bloody, bodily secretion.

And for the second time that day, I felt myself become embraced by the comforting darkness, and I once again succumbed to the emptiness of being unconscious. My last remaining thought was a whisper of apology to Rath.

:::End of Chapter 8:::

That was SO much better than doing my homework...

I'm sorry it took me so long to update...I had to fight off a bit of writer's block...If anyone DOES have suggestions you think would be kind of cool, I will try my best to put them in. If I get no suggestions, I will have to rely on my weak creativity...which may or may not make for longer breaks between posts. We'll see.

I got a lot of reviews for that chapter. I hope you all continue to R&R and enjoy my writing!

Yes! Finally, R/C is making a slight comeback in DK land!!! is overjoyed

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

Lady Dragonnaine


	9. Let Me Out

I KNOW it's been FOREVER since I've updated. No excuse for delaying you readers, but what can I say? Life sometimes does that to me...Anyway, I'm so thrilled that I've gotten as far as with this fic as I have. 89 reviews! that's mind-boggling to me. Stupid writer's block stopped me from updating, as well as my computer being in the shop. Please read and review!

::smacks head on keyboard:: stupid, stupid me...I forgot to say that "Return to Pooh Corner" is dedicated to Insaneoveranime, as I owe a fic for my 50th reviewer. I blame the forgetfulness on a 103.7 fever...ugh. Very un-fun. And un-cool, come to that.

Ahh! I sense repetition in this fic!! No!!

Dedications: Hentaikoneko, dragoninaquajogger, Dlady (XD), Chisakami Saiyuki, Mad Hatter, moonwillow, insaneoveranime, Lisa, AleneVillanore, Lady Kilgorin, Bloody Hello Kitty, Arin Ross, Alyson Metallium, BakaNeko

:::Chapter 9:::

"Nadil told you to curse her, to bring her to her senses and to weaken her; not to kill her!"

"The side affects of it have worn off. Do not speak so fiercely to me, Shydeman. You could have done no better. Once Nadil has had his way with her, I will kill her lover, and she will watch his flesh decay."

"Mmmh," Shydeman chuckled. "Aren't you the morbid one, Shyrendora?"

"She deserves a fate worse than death."

"So bitter. Don't let Lord Nadil hear you talk like that, about his "precious gem". You know she is only more valuable to us, now."

Shyrendora fell silent, bowing her head so that streaks of death-like tendrils fell into her eyes. I would have felt sorry for her, had she been less than nemesis to me. For behind her steely glare, tears glistened. She was one of the few demons to keep emotion, although I knew she must bottle it up inside, to prove herself "normal". It seemed inconceivable to me, that one of Nadil's generals, was able to shed tears. I could not help but wonder what a past she must have had, to show such weakness as this.

Shydeman nodded at her still figure, pleased that he was wise enough to spot a crack in her tightly plastered on mask.

"Even your powers of mind control are weak. You're losing your touch, Shyrendora." he smiled spitefully. "Look," he said, gesturing to me swiftly. "still she sleeps."

"She lies, pretends, hides. She has heard all that you have said, and merely hopes that we do not realize." the voice changed tune, narrowing with hatred and disgust. "But, of course, you would not notice, would you? You are just waiting for Nadil to cast her aside, so you may take her as your whore."

Fire blazed in Shydeman's eyes, a harsh glare fixed in his gaze. Shyrendora spun on her heel away from him, but he caught her by the wrist and yanked her back to him, until their skin was flush against each other's. And then he pressed his mouth to hers, fierce and angry. When they parted, passion snuck out of their breaths, and bruises clung to the energy in the air.

"Shydeman--Shyrendora. Go see to our...latest development."

Both snapped their heads around, then quickly exited out a side door will little more than a "As you wish, my Lord", which was sung in unison, a mix of tenor and soprano. It was interesting to watch a couple who loved and hated as strongly as they did. One could only wonder which would win out in the end.

"Cesia," came the voice, deep and purring. Delirium swam before my eyes as I strained to focus on him, Nadil, the one whom I was forced to share my bed, my soul, but never my heart. That had been given away long before, without questions or pleas or the spider webbed delinquency that danced, interwoven beneath my skin. The emotions that whirled within my blood.

Oh-- 

And I did nothing but lie there, as the Demon Lord lowered himself to me...touched my already tainted skin...

God, Rath... 

I felt his undulating caresses wash over me with an almost lurid aura, darkness pounded into my flesh with every thrust and groan; and every whimper from my swollen lips more filled with sorrow and despair. _Let me out..._ She whispered, her voice low, and trembling I shook my head, feeling tears sneak out of my eyes and sprinkle the sheets beneath me.

I'm sorry... 

And then the Demon Lord lay beside me, almost tenderly stroking my hair, cheek, neck... A thin layer of sweat covered his lean frame, making his skin glow glossy in the dim light. He was beautiful, I realized. He really was.

...so sorry. 

I think that realization hurt more than anything. What did that mean? That now, I couldn't hate him. Nadil. I couldn't, and I couldn't see why. I was supposed to be with Rath! I was supposed to heal his heart and take care of him, and worship his body as he deserved to be worshiped. But something told me that maybe I was here for a reason. To prove that love is fickle. To prove that I did not know what true love really meant.

And in the hours where I was left alone, in a room too dark to see the simplest of shapes, I once again became trapped within my mind. And I had nothing to distract myself with. Nothing. I was left unarmed, to listen to the words of vengeance that dripped into my brain; whispered words of rage from my other side.

"Could you..did you ever love me?" I cried softly, imagining the words slipping out and dying in the still, dead air. What good was I now, used and discarded?

A low and husky voice responded, a spattering of words murmured into the darkness.

"Sabel...do come in. We've been expecting you."

:::End of chapter 9:::

By the way, the next chapter will involve that scene in book 15 with Nadil and Sabel. It will be a little raunchy. You have been warned.

Once again, I apologize a thousand times for not updating. Please don't hold that against me. I love all my readers and feel honored and blessed that you take the time to read my work. My ambition is to be a writer, and therefore feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated. Thanks again!

Lady Dragonnaine


	10. Dreams of a Dark Past

Hey guys, I'm back again...

Sorry about all this long waiting, but I -think- I'm getting back in the swing of things.

:Chapter 10:

My eyes widened in horror. Sabel? The keeper of the dead? I had heard his name before, many years ago, and hearing his name voiced called recognition to resonate in my mind.

Nadil was standing, his back to me, seductively leaning over the man that must have been this gate-keeper. I shivered involuntarily, feeling a wave of emulating darkness fall across my chest, making me sink back onto the bed upon which I was sprawled, my sternum feeling the affects of dead weight; a night of dread. What followed surprised and nauseated me.

A terrified looking man was swept into the room, fear etching his face, skin shimmering with residue of nerves. He was dwarfed when set before Nadil, lean, thin frame exposed as his jacket slid to the floor. Nadil laughed, narrowed indigo eyes darting from me to Sabel and back again. He smirked, letting tense muscles slip back into relaxation, an armchair of burgundy velvet holding him in transitional bliss as he watched us hungrily.

"Cesia; Sabel. Let go. Have a little fun."

I swallowed hard, not wanting to understand, not wanting to believe that this was going to happen to me; that I would be forced into copulation again, alone, without the veil of love or blind indifference. Lord knew I'd gone through enough. Knowing hands almost foreign to me pulled shame into my cheeks, and with my eyes closed, it was easier to imagine that I wasn't here with two men that were living examples of disgust; the keeper of the dead and the lord of evil. I could pretend I was here with...with Rath, or...

Rath. How was it possible to keep a love like ours? If we even had a love at all, anymore. It was a sick kind of irony, and the doubt rushed through my mind again, trapping me within ghostly restraints. _Forget him..._ the words rolled and echoed in cavernous nothing, black betrayal laced with indignant lust.

Trapped in some kind of third-person reverie, I waited it out, closed my eyes, rode the tide of physical sensation on it's futile, unsatisfying current, and then was freed.

Drifting from reality was commonplace and simple distraction. It was a survival instinct given to those who can feel, and the sole purpose of it was to take away the very thing it creates--feeling. Sensation. Emotion. Joy, Life...

I was swept away, not in a rush of water and heat nor any other form of satisfaction. I was swept away as a refugee of bleeding hourglasses, of red sand and crying and the clash of swords. I was taken as an escape, because I had nowhere else to go. Because the whole world wanted me, and because I was free for the taking.

Days rolled into nights and back again, and I lost track of the hour, the day, the week, awakened from lethargy as time became moments--the immeasurable amount of time away from desire, from dreams, from anything and everything that meant something.

I knelt on the floor, lost in a confusion of the hours. Daydreaming, nightdreaming, simple enlightenment of hidden, confused prophecies flittered in scattered black butterflies, and I whispered, "Just by being here...I'm endangering the Dragon Tribe." My eyes clouded for a minute, and I saw what I had so many seconds, minutes, hours, days ago. Corpses. The broken, shredded, bloody forms of the Dragon Clan, of fighters and soldiers and maids and people I had been open enough to call friends. I'd had dreams of them screaming, over and over and ringing in my ears, dreams of those who clung to my skirts as they died, dreams that I was coated in the blood of those who had fallen because I merely existed.

I glanced at my hands, and almost laughed at the irony of it. They pulled off a sweet façade of dignity, but I could still see--they were dripping, coated in blood.

A broken, shadowed, secret. Scattered in shards of black glass were whispers, daydreams, long forgotten musings from a seeming past-life. A world away from agony and this stupid, relentless pain. This wasn't horrible. They left me life, and in so, hope. Anger and despair were with me in times these were--times when the world seemed to collapse.

"Those bastards see me as a possession. Nothing more." A breathy sigh graced my lips and fell like so many spider-spun droplets had, quiet and anguished and alive with only the fuel of enraged despair to feed them. There were guards everywhere, so ones only assumption would be that the Dragon Tribe was still a threat.

A threat.

They, like myself, were worried about the Dragon Tribe. I felt the swirl and rush of comforting wings engulf me again, and even for just a moment, I felt all right. Things would be all right. I would not have to break anymore promises. I would not have to end my love.

Can you love someone to which there is no future? Can you ever love someone like that, know someone like that, though there is no hope of the "next step"? Can you be honest and fair and really, truly -love- someone? Perfection is impossible, but is love? No. Love is blind. The world is blind.

And then it split my thoughts open, cleaving apart scattered thoughtforms and dispersing darkness. An unmistakable warmth and sparking energy centered at my itching fingertips.

_The wind staff._

But...how could it be here? How could the energy be so potent as to find the very core of my being, wrench me from my very existence and murmur sweet truths to my soul...

The darkness battled the light, slashing in determination and rage and power. Always power. I heard the screaming again, faintly and then stronger as the images tried to seep back through cracks in my memory's barriers.

My bones felt hollow and empty as a seemingly fictitious woman, blood spilling from her skull and arms and torso gripped helplessly to the black velvet of my dress. The skirt twisted and bent in her grasp, soaking itself in much-needed blood. Her eyes were dull but begging, pleading for her very survival, and though she made no physical noise, she was screaming. Gut-wrenching, terrified, agony-coated screams. You could see it in her eyes, and it spread throughout my brain, filling every crevice with a horrific, bleeding cry, a begging sound of salvation, of a needed freedom from this living hell.

_**NO!**_

My hands clenched angrily, and I held them together tightly, trying to stop my shaking. Concentrating was stipulation, of conceivable urgency and I strained all my possible energy at fighting back this wave of darkness, of forcing my so-called power towards the Dragon Tribe. Sending willful, destined energy was all I could do for them, imprisoned as I was in this castle, in my own head.

_I won't give my power to Nadil. There's someone more deserving of it!_

I ended up on my knees, panting slightly, mind reeling in blatant disarray. It was the first time I was able to give my power to anyone. The first time I was able to control my own instincts, my own essence. It was an eerie sort of realization, bordering on slippery madness, and for a moment I doubted my own delusion-enhancing power.

I tried again, feeling sweat break out in beads on my skin. It was the only thing I could do, the only thing possible for me to even attempt. But with all this control--there was something else. I could feel her stirring in the back of my mind, and she was enraged, I could feel repressed waves of crimson anger pulsing over me. My skin was hot. But as I turned, the face so reminiscent of Tetheus' cornered me in a frozen shiver. Shydeman was watching me, shields up, mask in place. His gaze was penetrating, not quite hating, not scornful, just...glacial.

A long-tapered, cold hand grasped my arms, forcing me to stand, rough touch almost chafing my arm in its steely grip.

"This room," he asked, a note of imperative warning in his voice. "Does it allow you to sense what is going on outside?"

The escalating fear usually reserved for his female counterpart began to seep through my skin, oozing through pores and my long-resisting brain. My voice was compressed, stifled against the backdrop of terror. I was shaking slightly, still trapped; held in place physical force far greater than my own.

"Lord Nadil... He is worried about you." The smirk I had so long associated with Shydeman returned, and a cold chill spiraled down. His eyes bore into my own, probing for an answer, a secret, a betrayal in my own heart.

_Does he know what I did?_

The thought had barely streaked through my head when I was again yanked forward, out of those chambers I had been enclosed in, out through broken corridors and crumbled marble and limestone and polished metals, into the very heart of the castle, the dark core of the demonic force. Broken black stairs took me farther away from my senses, farther into my very soul, physicality mingling with my own hidden demons; melding with the secret evil I kept so concealed in my own ebony passageways. Every heart is a labyrinth in its own way.

But the farther we went through deserted wastelands of cold, cloudy confusion, the stronger the demonic presence became. The air was thick and corrupting; a wretched reminder of my worthless actions. "...You _do_ understand that I will be back." His voice echoed in the caverns of my own head, relentless and sweeping; the sound reverberated and came out again in an exhaled whisper, a barely noticeable turn of breath, but even so, Shydeman glanced fleetingly at me, warning flashing in his ice eyes. Simple violation like this was nothing and yet seemed so...ugly. The air clung to my skin in humid resilience, not with heat but with an unshakable darkness. Demon aura. I felt dirty. Tainted. Disgraceful. An embarrassed and mortified teenager with no parents and no future scampered, helter-skelter through my head, her eyes alight with a secret fire and indigo secrets. In her dress of stiff, raven-colored, uncut fabric and loose lacing, it was her eyes drew me in most of all. Those eyes that had seen it all and somehow retained a little bit of hope, a smudge of a promise that one day, things would get better. An apron, a job, a smile...

A whore.

:End of Chapter 10:

The first chapter is being rewritten as I speak (type, whatever), so ignore the crapness of it, til I get on with things.

I have a LOT of favorite sentences in this chapter. I think some of it is so pretty.

Please review, it's the only way I know that people are still reading, and more importantly, it's the only way I am able to improve. Please, help me?

Lady Dragonnaine


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